Energy Zappers

            What’s zapping you of your energy?  

Before I got divorced, I was constantly thinking/talking about what my husband was or wasn’t doing and how dysfunctional our marriage was.  It consumed me, to the point of emotional and physical exhaustion.

            People, circumstances, events, emotions, relationships, even pillows can drain you of your much needed energy.

            Pillows?  Yes, pillows.  Years ago, in an effort to keep up appearances, I had 6 pillows strategically placed throughout my living room,( which really isn’t where I wanted my kids to live, it was more of a parlor, where I desired to have an uncluttered, peaceful refuge for myself and my company).

            Those darn pillows were such a huge energy zapper in my life.  Due to 5 children who didn’t share in my value of aesthetics, those pillows got misplaced approximately 25 times a day.

 I either repositioned them while complaining loudly to my children or I would become very agitated and demand they quit acting like kids and leave the pillows alone!

Finally the thought struck me, “Why don’t you just put the pillows away until you have company and then get them out?” Why didn’t I think of that sooner?  It would have saved me a lot of wasted energy on something which really didn’t matter in the great scheme of things.

            So what is bothering you? Is it something simple as pillows? Or is it a bigger issue that is causing you emotional and physical exhaustion? 

            Is it going to a job you hate?  Are you constantly struggling with your finances?  Do you continue investing yourself in a dysfunctional relationship?

            We all have energy zappers in our life. The question is, what are they costing you?  What are you going to do about them?

ACTION STEPS:

1.     List all of the things/people that may be energy zappers in your life.

2.     Pick one of these.

3.     Brainstorm ideas which could alleviate these energy zappers.

4.     Find an accountability partner who can help you either eliminate energy zappers or find a positive way of improving the situation.

Stacy Rothenberger, M.S.CCC-SLP, CLC

Communications Disorders Consultant

Certified Mindset and Relationship Coach

rothenberger.stacy@gmail.com

www.lovingyourlifecoaching.com

Get Out of Your But

If I asked you how much you love your life on a scale of 0-10 (0 being the worst and 10 being the best) what would you say? 

For some of you, you might say, “I love all areas of my life BUT…….”and then you would go on to tell me the one area you aren’t happy with.

I’ve experienced that same thing, in fact I’ll be honest and admit I’m  currently very happy with my life, but...... I’m happy with: the events of my day (e.g. being able to work out and socialize at the gym for 2 hours 4 days a week), my relationship with my Hunka-Hunka-Burning Love, my interaction with my children, my ability to help individuals work through very difficult issues, the support and love of awesome friends, the location of where I live ( a manageable home in South Carolina) and the fact I am healthy, energetic and still have all of my mental capacities, BUT……… I’m still not making the amount of money I think I should be.

Instead of focusing on the one area of my life which isn’t how I think it should be, I am choosing to deliberately be in a state of thankfulness and gratitude for all of the other areas of my life which I am so happy  and thankful for.

Spiritually, I remind myself that “My God shall provide ALL of your needs according to HIS riches in glory in Christ Jesus.  I have always had every one of financial needs met so why should I start doubting His ability to provide for me now?

Sometimes we need to look back to be reminded of how things have worked out in the past.  I can give so many examples of when money appeared without me having to do a single thing to procure it (e.g. my first year of college was paid by a family I babysat for.  I had done nothing to ask for their assistance, they just wanted to honor me for being such a blessing to their family).Yet, many other times I have tried to get busy and help the universe out by forcing things to happen(e.g. deciding I was going to marry someone after only knowing him for one week). Those situations were the ones which ended up biting me in the butt.

So today I will get out of my BUT and live in Faith.  I believe God is constantly arranging situations for our greater good. I can chose to love EVERY aspect of my life (even the area that isn’t what I think it should be) while I’m waiting and trusting that my life is exactly as it should be in this moment of time. 

How about you? Do you need to get out of your but? Could you choose to love your life despite that one area which isn’t where you want it to be yet?

Stacy Rothenberger

Certified Mindset and Relationship Coach

Communication Disorders Expert

www.lovingyourlifecoaching.com

My Story of Being Sick and Tired

I am a very driven purpose.

  

Once I set a goal for myself, I achieve it. That works unless someone or something disturbs my plan.

I went into marriage, confident I would enjoy an intimate, mutually satisfying relationship in which we both could be everything God wanted us to be while contributing to the life of each other.

I knew I had my rough edges and wanted to be refined so I began reading every self-help book out there.   I have read over 500 books on marriage, resolving conflict, understanding personality differences and improving one’s life.

All that reading didn’t prevent the struggles from happening.  It did help me understand the “why” behind the events, but it did not remove the sting of disappointment.

As my husband and I began having children, it became apparent we weren’t on the same page in regards to our parenting goals.  I assumed he would be just as involved in our children’s lives as I was.  Apparently I was wrong.  This was a huge disappointment. 

When I asked for his help or involvement,  I was asking for too much.  If only I could do more, than things would be fine.  So I did. Everything.  I stuffed my resentment and disappointment and did it all.  I cared for all of our children’s basic needs, educated them at home and shared my Christian beliefs with them. Alone. 

When our third child died at 4 days old, I was devastated.  I clung to my faith in God, accepted the help from church friends and did the rest. Alone.

While I clung to Christ, my husband ran to substances. 

Finding objectionable items in our home was not part of my plan.

Being the “good Christian wife”, I did everything I thought was right.  I prayed.  I died to myself.  I fasted.  I forgave. I initiated conversations.  I overlooked. I stuffed my pain. Alone.

And then one morning I woke up and realized how much energy I had consumed trying to help someone who really didn’t want  or could accept my help. 

The only person I could help was myself.

I needed to figure out how to do that.

I needed to know thyself.

Thus my journey in Life Coaching began.

So, what is your story of being sick and tired?  What area of your life are you feeling stuck?  What is keeping you stuck? What is it costing you?

Stacy Rothenberger, M.S. CCC-SLP, CLC

Communication Disorder Expert

Mindset and Relationship Coach

Keynote Speaker

www.lovingyourlifecoaching.com

www.morepleasureinbed.com

Do You Love Your Life?

Do you love your life? 

I mean do you REALLY love your life?

Not just some parts of it, but ALL of it?

If you are like most people, you probably love SOME areas of your life, and that’s good.  But if you were honest, and I mean REALLY honest, you would probably admit there is at least ONE area of your life you aren’t loving.

Maybe it’s your job. You hate it.  Driving there every day makes you physically nauseous.  You would love to do something else, but the fear of the unknown is too immense.

Or maybe it’s a relationship you are in. You spend more time and energy arguing and fighting than you do actually enjoying the other person.  

Or maybe it’s those 30 extra pounds you’ve been carrying around.  

That “one thing” we aren’t totally content or happy with can end up preventing us from loving our lives.

You don’t believe me?  Think back of the last time you got in a horrible fight with someone you love.  Were you able to concentrate on anything else? Probably not.  Our minds tend to ruminate on something until there is some kind of closure or healing. Yet so many of us go through life with so much unfinished business. Our minds are left to work over- time wondering, worrying and fearing the worst.

Life may not always happen exactly as we would like it to; however, we can learn to love our lives regardless of the circumstances.  Don’t worry, this isn’t another one of those, “fake it until you make it” speeches. 

I’m not one who espouses to putting on a happy face and pretending as if everything is okay when it really isn’t.  In fact, I’m suggesting just the opposite. 

Sometimes, we need to wipe those fake smiles off our faces and allow ourselves to show the hurt, disappointment and anger we are truly feeling.  We may need to end some relationships which are no longer serving us. We may need to find the courage to try something we know we were destined to do. We may have to finally face those fears which have been keeping us stuck.

But unless we take the time to truly get to know ourselves, we may stay stuck and never truly love ourselves or the lives we are living. This means we need to make time to figure out who we are. What brings us the greatest joy?  What makes us ache inside? What pain and disappointment have we carried into adulthood?  Until we get to the root of all of those questions, we may struggle loving our lives.

Life is too short not to love every minute of it.

Invest in yourself today.  Learn how to love your life.

Stacy Rothenberger

Certified Relationship and Mindset Coach

www.lovingyourlifecoaching.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vc-uQCT1QM

Loving My Life Coaching: Do You Love Your Life

Loving My Life Coaching: Do You Love Your Life: Do you love your life?  I mean do you REALLY love your life?  Not just some parts of it, but ALL of it?  If you are like most people, you p...

Do You Love Your Life

Do you love your life?  I mean do you REALLY love your life?  Not just some parts of it, but ALL of it?  If you are like most people, you probably love SOME areas of your life, and that’s good.  But if you were honest, and I mean REALLY honest, you would probably admit there is at least ONE are of your life you aren’t loving.  Maybe it’s your job. You hate it.  Driving there every day makes you physically nauseous.  You would love to do something else, but the fear of the unknown is too immense.  Or maybe it’s a relationship you are in. You spend more time and energy arguing and fighting than you do actually enjoying the other person.  Or maybe it’s those 30 extra pounds you’ve been carrying around.  That “one thing” we aren’t totally content or happy with can end up preventing us from loving our lives.

You don’t believe me?  Think back of the last time you got in a horrible fight with someone you love.  Were you able to concentrate on anything else? Probably not.  Our minds tend to ruminate on something until there is some kind of closure or healing. Yet so many of us go through life with so much unfinished business. Our minds are left to work over- time wondering, worrying and fearing the worst.

Life may not always be exactly as we would like it; however, we can learn to love our lives despite what is happening.  Don’t worry, this isn’t another one of those, “fake it until you make it” speeches. I’m not one who espouses to putting on a happy face and pretending like everything is okay when it really isn’t.  In fact, I’m suggesting just the opposite. Sometimes, we need to wipe those fake smiles off our faces and allow ourselves to show the hurt, disappointment and anger we are truly feeling.  We may need to end some relationships which are no longer serving us. We may need to find the courage to try something we know we were destined to do. We may have to finally face those fears which have been keeping us stuck.

But unless we take the time to truly get to know ourselves, we may stay stuck and never truly love ourselves or the lives we are living. This means we need to make time to figure out who we are. What brings us the greatest joy?  What makes us ache inside? What pain and disappointment have we carried into adulthood?  Until we get to the root of all of those questions, we may struggle loving our lives.

Life is too short not to love every minute of it.

Invest in yourself today.  Learn how to love your life.

Stacy Rothenberger

Certified Relationship and Mindset Coach

producegoodfruit@aol.com